[Forum Game] - SOLVE RUTHLESS GALAXY

Ok so I saw a lot of "give us community contests, forum games, etc" in the survey that Whoster gave out. So I came up with this.

The first poster will present a problem relating to RG. Example: "Kradus sends ships to invade the Jorro'kil!"

The second poster will present a solution, and also a new problem. Comedy is welcome btw. Example: "Jorro'kil blow them up! The Karthla start eating stuff!"

And let things go out from there. These problems and solutions do not have to even relate to the RPs and be correct with their events. They don't have to be "he/she would never do that" in-character accuracy. This is just for fun. You can use whatever empires/characters/plot elements from the RPs that you like. Try to make it comical. Or not. Whatever is fun for you. I'll start.

The Karthla start to eat stuff.

The organism which they devour is not broken down and destroyed by their gastrointestinal tracts, but instead starts to eat the Karthla themselves from the inside out. The result is a hideous mutation that resembles Ben Affleck.

Ben Affleck Mutant then starts pretending to be Batman as the crew of the Warrior's Way observe its odd recreational activities.

The Hithe emerge out of limbo/hiding/a day at the spa. Immediately upon seeing the Ben Affleck Mutant, they start taunting about how he'll never be as good a Batman as George Clooney. The BAM responds by vomiting out teaser trailers that look really awesome, but they are batted aside by the collective Hithe that combine into a humongous mecha, complete with Kamina glasses.

The combined Hithe then punch the BAM into a nearby star, which explodes into puppies and baby seals. The blast radius continues to expand, engulfing systems in destructive cuteness.

The Warrior's Way crew get hungry and order pizza.

The pizza is stolen by Shancar, while he records himself eating it all with only a few gulps and sends the video via Spacebook to the crew.

Shancar toilet-papers Xej's house.

Xej's house has become a victim of public domain due to the takeover of the Imperial Coalition. Angered by this display of humor, the leaders of the Imperial Coalition order that Shancar be found, strung up by piano wire, and slapped with pizza.

However, the pizza to be used in the pizza slapping mysteriously vanished. Where did it go, you ask? Why, Jiiran stole it, of course. Taking his spoils, he soon designed and began to build a super weapon that fired pizza down on the unsuspecting peoples of inhabited worlds. Why you ask? Well, if people are stuffed full of pizza, then they can't do anything to stop Jiiran's evil plans can they?

Tragically, Jiiran's plan backfired when his Mondarian laborers ate the pizza rather than loading it into the super weapon. As punishment for their incompetence, Jiiran strung them all upside down with spaghetti and force-fed them pizza with anchovies on it.

The Hithe, now further strengthened by a consistent diet of seals and puppies, burst into real-space despite their creator having not actually finished their race entry yet.

Unfortunately their ship's trajectory is off and they crash into Jiiran's vessel. Thankfully everyone survives except Bob, but no-one really liked him anyway. Fighting breaks out between the now stuck together ships, with many remaining cute animals slain in the crossfire.